Introductions Are Awkward.......

I can't help but wonder who this person is I see staring back at me from the other side of the bathroom mirror. "I can't believe I am actually doing this. I have sunk to a new low. This is unforgivable." is what my running monologue mutters as I follow through on the previously inconceivable. I can't help but wonder if I have waved goodbye to the last shred of my already dilapidated dignity. I swore to myself this wouldn't happen, that I am better than this, and that I have clearly learned from the mistakes of those around me. Evidently not.

I can think of no worse atrocity I have perpetrated in my life. Everything pales in comparison to this. Quit a stable job to devote myself fully to the monetary glory of a pyramid scheme? Not this time. (Hey, don't judge it was a sure thing.) Supported that poor Nigerian prince who was down on his luck? Never again. (Can you blame me? He seemed like a real straight shooter.) Went back to a terribly abusive relationship? Nope, learned my lesson, after going back the 653rd time. (You just don't know her like I do, she really does love me, no officer I got this black eye and broken arm by falling down the stairs.) Compared to all the terrible life decisions I have made, this new one is by far the worst. I have started a blog.

I have spent the entirety of my existence lambasting and ridiculing many things I see around me. Snuggies, the WNBA, the French, people who over-annunciate "foreign" words, scene kids, etc, etc. The list is amazingly and fascinatingly long. People with blogs though, they have always had a special place in my hierarchy of hatred. I always wonder what kind of self-involved, narcissistic, loser really thinks that anybody cares about the daily grind of their boring pedantic life. Well, who has two thumbs and is typing right now? This guy.

So welcome to my worse case scenario. I have actually gotten to the point in my life where I think I actually have something important and relevant enough for other people to read. Egads. I have become everything I loathe in life.

I told you introductions are awkward.